im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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