Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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