You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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