I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
