oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If I die, sorry about rent.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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