I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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