i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
