her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
