just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
