I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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