"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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