I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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