Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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