this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
