I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
