Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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