May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
