Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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