I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
