we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
