Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just want to make out with him forever
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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