my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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