How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
