ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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