So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think your dad took our porno
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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