i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
