Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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