Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
