Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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