My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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