If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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