Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
