is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
