You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just forgot I was standing up.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
