why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
