I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
