We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
