Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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