the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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