I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
