Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
