I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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