I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
