I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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