I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
