party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
