some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
