That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
