Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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