I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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