Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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