summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
